One year ago I went in to what was suppose to be my 20 week anatomy appointment and instead walked out with the devastating news I had a missed miscarriage.
I can say with all certainty that today has been the worst day of my life. 💔
— Cristina Robinson ♒ (@LovelyGeek) July 4, 2017
A few days later I had a D&E followed by several months of testing to figure out why this happened. After all, this was my second missed miscarriage. I never got an answer. All my testing came back normal.
They say after a miscarriage you’re not supposed to think about what you could have done differently. Don’t dwell, don’t blame yourself, just move forward. It’s all easier said than done, and as a person who is all about learning from their failures, I couldn’t help but think about I could have done differently.
Despite no answers, I pushed forward, and one year later I have made a lot of changes!
Ever since my PCOS diagnosis in 2015, I knew deep down I needed to eliminate these three from my diet. Once I started researching PCOS and how to manage it, getting rid of these three were constantly coming up because they’re inflammatory. I took it somewhat seriously over the next couple of years, but I was never 100%, and I often yo-yoed, especially during my last pregnancy.
I’ve been working with a nutritionist since August, and one of the first things she told me was I needed to be gluten-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free. I noticed shortly after really buckling down and removing these how it affected my skin as well as how I felt overall.
I can say with all confidence that I am 100% gluten-free. I no longer cheat with this, and if I get exposed it’s unknowingly. Dairy and sugar I’m still struggling with, but I am getting there! Progress, not perfection!
In addition to the nutritional work, I’m taking a whole new set of supplements. My nutritionist muscle tests me each visit to determine exactly what my body needs. My protocol will change slightly each month, but I’ve been pretty consistent with Tuna Omega-3 Oil, Echinacea, Chase Tree, FolaPro (folate), and Betaine HCL. I also take extra vitamin b-12 and vitamin D-3.
Not only am I more mindful of what goes into my body but also what I am exposed to exteriorly, whether it’s via skin or breathing through the air.
I switched to green beauty products at the end of last year and haven’t looked back since. I went from being a VIB Rouge at Sephora to dropping all my moolah at 100% Pure and The Organic Bunny. And unless you’re a green beauty user like me, you’ll see a ton of brands you’ve probably never heard of in my makeup and skincare collection.
My household products have also been switched up to cleaner alternatives. I’ve even made a few of my own thanks to recipes found in books like Smart Mom’s Guide to Essential Oils and Just the Essentials. Anything that I come into contact with daily I’ve just about replaced with a greener solution.
The road to healing hasn’t been easy. I went from crying hourly to daily to a few times a week to a few times a month. At one point I felt buried in grief, desperately trying to climb my way free but unable to do so. This loss was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before, and I knew I needed to see someone to help me work through it all.
I started seeing a therapist, and she’s been amazing to work with. I see her 2-3 times a month, and not only has she helped me deal with this loss but she’s helped me in other areas of my life. While I’ve made tremendous strides in my grief, the pain is still there, and it will never truly go away. Over time it just gets easier to manage.
I’ve realized I’ve kinda dove in head first into a more holistic lifestyle. It’s been a combination of working with my nutritionist, going to yoga, and keeping up with a handful of holistic podcasts/blogs/support forums. I like to think of it as I’m doing both eastern and western medicine.
Things like using essential oils, eating organic, dry brushing, using salt lamps, playing with crystals, applying castor oil packs, tongue scraping, etc. are just some of the “hippie health trends” I’ve come to incorporate into my lifestyle. And while they may seem a bit woo-woo, in the end in all factors into my whole body health and makes me feel a lot less stressed. I’m ALL about that self-care!
Here are some of the podcasts/blogs/support forums/people I keep up with:
It’s crazy to look back at how I was one year ago compared to where I am now. I feel healthier and more in tune with my body. As each day goes by I’m gaining more and more confidence that when the next round of TTC happens I’ll be okay.
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The Lovely Geek is a one-woman studio based in Sacramento, CA but works with clients remotely from all over.