I was scared to do maternity photos. I knew I wanted to do them, but the thought of taking beautiful photos and the possibility of losing my baby after was paralyzing. One of the hardest things to cope with during a pregnancy after loss is the anxiety and fear of jinxing things. Any time I thought about or did something that made this pregnancy feel more real, my mind would go to the place of “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios.
During a session with my therapist, I was discussing how afraid I was of even reaching out to schedule the photos. I knew who I wanted to go with, it was just a matter of booking the shoot. At the end of the session, my “homework” from my therapist was to schedule my shoot. Barely 24 hours later, my friend and photographer, Kate, messaged me wanting to do a maternity photoshoot.
Somehow the stars aligned to where the very person I intended to book my photoshoot with ended up reaching out to me. It was like the universe knew I needed that extra nudge. Joshua and I took a day trip to her studio in Walnut Creek for the shoot, and it was nice to spend the day together, enjoying those final moments of it being us two.
Despite how scared I was, I am so glad we did this photo shoot. We have these special photos to look back on, and now they’re a celebration of our rainbow after the storm. 🌈