Worry Wait

Mercy San Juan Hospital

This afternoon I got a call from my mom telling me that Nana just went into surgery. A nurse called the house trying to get ahold of my dad (after she couldn’t get ahold of my uncle), but because my dad wasn’t home the nurse wouldn’t tell my mom anything else. Mom gave her Dad’s work number in hopes he would be able to find out what’s going on.

Turns out Nana has a perforated colon. I guess it’s a fancy way of saying she has a hole in her colon, and while we don’t know the exact cause, my mom and Mormor believe it’s due to a hernia she had awhile back. My parents are on their way to the hospital as I speak so I’m sure I’ll find out more by tomorrow.

I’m just seriously terrified of something happening to her and me not being there. It’s getting to be that time in my life where I’m going to have to experience losing a loved one, something I don’t even want to think about right now. Given my Nana’s condition and body weakened by cancer, I’m extremely worried. All I can hope is for the best.

[EDIT] Here is what’s going on with my Nana. I’m quoting what my cousin said in a MySpace bulletin since my dad confirmed this is what’s happening.

My dad’s mom, my Nana, was taken to the hospital today for stomach flu like symptoms. It turns out, due to surgeries she had in the past, some bowel pipes ruptured and caused massive infections. She was told that if she didn’t have surgery immediately it would kill her, but the likelihood she would survive surgery was 1%. She beat the odds and made it through surgery, but we don’t know if she will fully recover.

The doctors are to have to continue flushing out these infections over the next few days. Either she’s going to recover real quick or go down hill real quick. I pray to God it’s not the latter. I am not ready to deal with losing a loved one. I’m just not.

Joshua and I are leaving tomorrow. Even though there’s a possibility my Nana may not know I’m there, I still want to be there. I want to make my peace with her. Despite all the lame family drama, I love her dearly. I don’t want to lose her.