Life I don't have an answer

I don’t have an answer.

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After a couple months of waiting, I finally heard from my RE on Monday.

I last met with her mid-November in which she sent me out for more testing, and she wanted to get copies of all the lab results from my PCP, my OBGYN from my last two pregnancies, my new OBGYN, and the doctor that performed the D&E. Once she was able to look everything over, she’d call me and figure out a game plan for TTC again.

I spoke with her on Monday and she said the good news is there’s nothing wrong. I got tested for everything under the sun, and it all came back great. Like on paper, there’s no reason why I can’t have a healthy pregnancy.

Unfortunately there’s no answer as to why I lost my baby.

The part I am struggling with is if that’s the case, how come I lost my baby in the first place? What can I do next time to prevent this from happening again?

The answer is I have none. So that’s that.

The plan is when I’m ready, I’ll start adding low-dose aspirin and progesterone to my supplement protocol. When I get a positive test, they’ll monitor me closely until they’re confident to release me to my regular OBGYN.

Meanwhile, I just keep doing what I’m doing, continue working with my nutritionist and on my weight, and get myself as healthy as possible.

It’s crazy to think that all of this has happened in the last 6 months.

Timeline Recap

July 3, 2017 – Go in for 20 week anatomy scan. Discover baby stopped growing at approximately 16w5d and no fetal heartbeat. Get referred by OBGYN to UC Davis Medical Center to discuss options for D&E.

July 6, 2017 – Visit with OBGYN where she does second ultrasound and confirms what imaging saw on July 3. Have consultation with the doctor at UC Davis Medical Center for my D&E. They insert dilators into my cervix to prepare for the surgery.

July 7, 2017 – D&E. The chaplain blessed the baby and we were given footprints. Doctor advises me to wait 3 months before trying again, and when I do get pregnant again I should see a high risk OBGYN. He recommends getting a Hemglobin A1c test. He’ll call us with the results of the pathology report in 4-6 weeks.

August 3, 2017 – Doctor who performed D&E called with pathology report results. Baby was a girl. No chromosomal abnormalities. Suspect it might be a clotting disorder, so I am advised to get an Antiphospholipid Antibodies test in addition to the Hemglobin A1c.

August 5, 2017 – First period since miscarriage/D&E.

August 7, 2017 – Meet with PCP to discuss testing as recommended from UCD OBGYN. PCP decides to run full blood tests (CBC, CMP, Lipid Panel, TSH, and HbA1c) and review results in one week. From there he’ll give me a copy of my results and I can opt to see specialist for additional testing if need. PCP thinks reason for miscarriage is most likely unexplained.

August 8, 2017 – I get my blood work done.

August 11, 2017 – I have my first appointment with my nutritionist. Based on my pre-existing conditions (diet, PCOS, etc.) and her experiences, she suspects chronic inflammation is what ultimately led to my miscarriage. I’m immediately put on a gluten-free, dairy-free, and added-sugar-free diet along with a supplement protocol to start my healing.

August 14, 2017 – Regroup with PCP. Blood work looks normal. Gives me a copy of my results and refers me to a new OBGYN.

September 7, 2017 – I meet with my new OBGYN. He orders testing for Beta-2 Glycoprotein 1 Antibodies, Thrombosis panel, Anti-Mullerian Hormone, Cardiolipin Antibodies, Lupus Anticoagulant Evaluation, Estradiol, FSH, Prolactin, DHEA Sulfate, Testosterone (Free and Total LC/MS/MS), and genetic karyotyping on Joshua and I. He also gives me the go-ahead to start taking my Metformin again (after I do my next set of blood work).

September 8, 2017 – I get my blood work done. 16 vials of blood 💉. Later that day I start taking my Metformin.

September 12, 2017 – I start seeing a therapist to help work through the grief and emotional aspect of my losses.

October 5, 2017 – Follow-up with my new OBGYN. All the tests came back normal. He has some concerns over my AMH levels, so I FINALLY get a referral to see an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) and have an HSG test.

October 27, 2017 – I have an HSG test done. Everything looks normal.

November 8, 2017 – Consultation with my RE. History is discussed and she wants to look at all the blood work I’ve had done as well as the lab results from my D&E. Once she is able to look everything over we’ll regroup and form a plan for when I TTC next. Meanwhile, she wants me to get additional blood work done for Factor II Mutation testing.

November 13, 2017 – I go through my OBGYN to get the order for the Factor II Mutation testing and they throw in an Obstetric Panel as well.

November 17, 2017 – Both my OBGYN and my RE’s office contact me with the results of my labs. Everything is good except it appears I no longer have an immunity to rubella. They urge me to get the MMR vaccine and wait 3 months until I TTC.

November 18, 2017 – I go to my local Walgreens and get the MMR vaccine.

January 23, 2018 – RE’s office calls to checkin. They schedule my follow-up and have me get my Vitamin D levels tested as well as Varicella Zoster testing.

January 24, 2018 – I go in for my blood work.

January 29, 2018 – Follow-up with my RE. No cause of the miscarriage is found. All results look normal. Determine that I will go on low-dose aspirin and progesterone supplement when I am ready to TTC.



I am so sorry that you don’t have an answer. I can’t imagine how frustrating that is for you. All that you can really do is continue to take amazing care of yourself and constantly remember that none of it is your fault. I find myself blaming my health and my body but you know what? These things are out of our control. They suck and they hurt but I just know that one day you will find your happiness.

Will continue to think of you and your husband!

Heather Kaup

I know this won’t help & I am behind you 100%. Maybe there was just something wrong with the little one & Nature knew so Nature took care of it. I know we don’t talk & I am sorry about that. I would give you lots of hugs, tell you to hang in there, & keep trying.

My mother went through all this (or as much as they had in the 80’s) because she miscarried three times before I showed up. Then I was a twin & there was something wrong with my twin & it miscarried before it even developed more then a sac. Given what I know now about my own self (mental disorders & PCOS) I wonder if my mom had that & that was what the issue it.

Since there was “no reason” for you to not be able to carry to term I would follow the Dr. directions (which I know you are doing) & keep trying. My fingers are crossed for you.

P.S. I love the new house.


Thanks, Heather. They did do testing on the fetus after my D&E and there was nothing wrong, so it’s a mystery why things happened the way they did.


Wow. I’m sorry to hear there’s no direct answers (because it’s always good to have reasons why things happen), but also grateful there are no serious disorders. I guess bad things happen and it’s a part of life and we just have to learn to live and continue on our journey. I hope and pray for a healthy and successful adventure when you and Joshua are ready to TTC. There is nothing I want more for you but success and happiness.


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